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Creating the New and Successful You

Businessman getting ready with his personal image and apperanceDo you have problems with your personal image and appearance? Are people not viewing you in the way you want to be viewed? Are they not treating you the way you want to be treated?

Your personal appearance can affect your daily life and the way people treat you. Essentially speaking, you need to compensate for a poor presentation with an impressive talent, intelligence or some other attribute, whereas having a good appearance, or even a winning presence, gives you a head start in terms of people’s favourable first impression about you — which of course you need to back up with what comes out of your mouth within the next 15 minutes.

In 2008, I spent time researching how my personal appearance affects my daily interactions. While I was sitting in Starbucks one day, I discovered an obvious but interesting thing. The polished look of the men and women that walked by came across not only as attractive but also more trustworthy. Perhaps the reason I noticed this at that time was because I needed to work on my own appearance.

I learned that personal image can have an impact on the way you feel about yourself, and on the way other people view you. It’s amazing what the right image, attitude, calmness, and the perception that “money is no object” can do for you. No matter what is really the case, people tend to treat you based on how they perceive you.

They say don’t judge the book by the cover, but at the end of the day, people do measure you in the first few seconds of seeing you, even if unconsciously.

Be who you want to look like, or more practically, dress who you want to be.

In my personal transformation process, I changed everything from my hairstyle, teeth, and clothing, to my posture and voice. The details of my transformation can help you become a new and successful you!

Side note: I did some research on being tall and on being short (height-wise). It doesn’t seem to make a difference whether you’re tall or short if you have the internal self confidence. No matter what, you must retain the posture of success. This means standing straight with your chest out, speaking slowly when necessary, and being calm.

First Step to Fixing Your Personal Image

Making a list of what I needed to fix about myself was the best way to start. The first step is knowing what the problem is so that you know what to fix. Is it voice, image, teeth, hair, style, grooming, or character? Identification is the first step.

There is no harm in asking your friends for their perceptions of you. If you’re aware of how others view you, you’ll know better what to fix.

Next, ask the experts about solutions. For example, ask a hair stylist what shampoo to use or ask a store clerk about his/her recommendation. Ask people that know you or strangers. If you’re friendly, people will be happy to help you.

Choosing a Tie for the best personal imageOn day 4 of my self-improvement challenge, I asked about 8 random women (ie. “appearance experts”) for their opinions while I tried on different clothes or hats. All the women, with the exception of 1, seemed genuine in their advice. Because of their helpful advice, I was able to choose a cool French-style wool hat from The Bay (Esprit brand). Asking “experts” for help is effective and fun!

Consider having a wardrobe and personal image assessment. You can learn how to dress yourself better, but also gain a new personal outlook. Making changes to your personal appearance can make you a more confident person that’s more in-tune with your goals.

In my personal self-improvement challenge I identified the following key things:

  • Dress well
  • Stand straight with chest forward
  • Increase muscle definition
  • Adjust beard style (if you’re a man of course)
  • Smile or develop a photo expression
  • Wash face frequently and properly
  • Wash and Brush hair frequently (great scalp massage for stress and against hair loss)
  • If you’re eyeglasses wearer, consider more attractive/stylish/brand-name glasses

For me, dressing well means wearing a shirt, dark pants, or a textured, grey or navy suit and tie. I suggest experimenting with your clothing, asking for feedback, and going shopping with your female friends. This way, you’ll learn how to dress better.

Hair and Beard Styles

Facial Hair Types - Beard Styles

Click ↑ to Enlarge

Adjust your facial hair style in consideration of changing your personal image. Research various beard styles depending on the shape of your face and the message you want to convey.

When I say brush hair as my seventh point, I mean styling your hair differently. Try brushing your hair so that it is more forward at the front and more straight up mid to back (or whatever works for you).

Washing your face regularly with face products will help to reduce the oily appearance of your skin. Consider looking at the website www.DefyAgingNow.com, which offers information about keeping your skin clean. Also, consider getting a suntan, but keep the UV time to a minimum.

Sharp Image

In my experience, having a sharp image improves your life significantly. It means you have the self confidence and trust of others and you have their respect – at least as far as the first impression is concerned. You also have an easier life as people work with you better. It also means looking good on the outside and feeling good on the inside.

After about 15 minutes you must be able to keep up the conversation to keep up that image, so you better be the expert in your niche, or a creative and interesting speaker otherwise. Being silent is also your option if you can pull it off well enough.

One day I was watching the Family Feud TV Show and observed what the generally accepted features of a successful man are (host and some contestants). When people see a man, they can usually tell whether he is successful in life through the following key features (of course grand exceptions to this are very common):

  • quality of clothes and shoes (must be polished!)
  • confidence, attitude, posture, fitness, face expression, slow speed of body movements
  • great woman or entire family
  • accessories such as jewelery, watch, glasses, car, boat, and house

Sharp Image of a Gentleman in Gucci SuitThe power image is made up of several features. It’s made up of your voice, your posture, your smile, and the way you dress. It includes aspects of your overall image that culminate the belief that you deserve respect and have the power to accomplish anything. If you can convince people that you’re a confident businessman, people will treat you like you’re a confident businessman.

On many occasions I observed that because I was dressed well, people treated me differently. I had random people coming up to me and wishing me a great day. Talk about how peoples’ reactions to you change depending on how you present yourself!

When it comes down to it, your personal appearance will dictate how people treat you.

Later, I was being called “boss” or “sir.” I was well dressed and getting compliments. All of this was because of my clothes and how I presented myself. Just imagine the power you could have if you made some adjustments to your personal mage.

My original goal was to sharpen my image, and to create a power image for myself. My image changed with the clothes and shoes I chose to wear and the physical changes I made to my appearance (teeth, eyes, skin, hair). I also made changes to my character, posture, and body movements.

Posture, Body Movement and Eye Contact

Power Image of a Businessman with Posture and Strong Eye ContactIn the Being Centered: Positively Contagious! book, I read that the most important key to maximizing your power is posture. You should stand up straight and high, and breathe deep. I worked on my posture, my body movements, and on making eye contact.

Your posture, body movements, and whether you maintain eye contact will affect the way people view you. To project self confidence, you have to maintain eye contact with people.

Your body movements can tell people that you are confident. They can also give away whether you are hyper, under confident or any other undesirable characteristic.

Your body movements can also showcase your self confidence to other people. If your movements are smooth and if you don’t appear to be in a hurry, you will come across as more relaxed, calm, and confident.

One day, I saw some wealthy men on their boats in the harbour. Aside from their flood pants, polos and aviator glasses, the most important aspect of their image was their straight posture with their chests forward. They looked very confident.

My personal trainer advised me to do lower pectoral muscle stretching (raised arms stretching) and back extension exercises, which allows one to achieve the straight posture and a boost in self confidence. The trick to this is to also have a flat stomach so that it’s easy to walk around confidently and at ease without the hidden tenseness of sucking the stomach in.

On trying out my posture for the first time, I was straight with my chest forward and my head held high. I also noticed quite a few looks from women when doing grocery shopping.

Power Image Practice and Observations

Power Image of a Fit Body in Jeans and T-Shirt

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Fitness training is one answer to creating your power image. In my opinion, martial arts such as Muay Thai, Kickboxing, Jiu Jitsu or Karate, and fitness training, give you a confident walk that people find appealing. With a great body you could be wearing just jeans and t-shirt and it will look very powerful.

I experienced various situations indicating that my image upgrade is working. One day I was wearing suit pants, a nice shirt and wool coat, and I had a short, healthy haircut and radiated confidence. I was getting mini-deals at various stores (upsized drinks or discounts on meals, and faster service at various services). I was passing various intimidation tests such as very strong eye contact from super-muscled men at the gym, top executives, or the most attractive women.

One day I witnessed a great example of the power image in practice when I saw two young guys yelling at a homeless man. The homeless man calmly yelled back and said they had messed with the wrong guy. The two guys just stood there and kept yelling, but they did NOT do anything physical!

Then the homeless man stood up and had given them the impression that he was too dangerous to mess with. At that moment they actually stopped yelling and shortly after decided to leave. It was an amazing example how inner confidence can have an affect on those having an ego trip.

Character and Communication

Character and communication are extremely important, because that’s how you give an impression of yourself. One day while watching “The Matrix” on TV, I realized that it was the dialogue that gave the movie its depth.

It’s also important to be a great listener. Being a great listener means that people will appreciate their conversations with you even more – they will feel appreciated. Making small talk also puts people at ease.

Minding your manners is self-explanatory. If you treat people well, they will feel more comfortable with you.

I put my communication skills to the test with my vocal coach. I presented myself well and didn’t talk too much. I did this very naturally and appeared comfortable.

I came across as a centered, mature, articulate and conscious businessman. She saw that I was willing to listen and learn instead of talk, and I think that put her more at ease. More importantly, I came across as impressive to her.

Men's Attractive Image for WomenWhen interacting with women (in general), the key is to present integrity, personality, and an unshakable character. To women, a man with those characteristics has tremendous value. Women don’t want someone that appears to be trying to pick them up. A man that’s confident will have more success than a man that’s funny.

One time, I met with a female friend for tea. I practiced my new me with her. This involved active listening, asking good questions, saying interesting things to her, and keeping comfortable eye contact. It was quite a challenge to avoid my regular fidgeting and to smile.

For the most part, it went okay. Though it was difficult to maintain the conversation. I know I have to relax more and work on looking friendly. Eventually with practice and overall improvement, those things became effortless, second nature, and above all – real.

The Top 5 Things Women Want In A Man...

Natural Voice

Although my goal was to create a power image for myself, I also knew that I needed to work on my image through voice.

Natural Voice Projection in the BarThe problem was that if I were completely myself, I was either serious and “scary,” or like a kid. I naturally have a large physique, so to soften that image and appear more friendly, I used a childish voice. My natural voice is deep and strong, but the social feedback made me not use it – possibly because I looked too young for that voice…

Although there is much more to it (the whole confidence and image package), I read up on how to have the perfect speaking voice to have some point of reference.

I discovered that your posture helps keep your spine and vocal channels in line, and deep breathing (from lower abs) gives you more and longer-lasting vocal energy without effort. A relaxed jaw, neck, shoulders, abs, and back allow for a better resonating chamber, and moving your mouth and jaw means that sound isn’t blocked.

Also, as an exercise to improving my natural voice, I taped myself while lying down on my back (more resonance) and then while standing up with my power posture. My work on my voice was becoming more noticeable and paying off! A deep, slow and calm natural voice that’s friendly and professional is a better match for my physique.

Smile with the Eyes

I decided I also had to work on my smile. I wanted to look more approachable.

When I went to my heat yoga class one day, I didn’t get the best reactions from the girls there. They didn’t look at me in a friendly (or at least natural) manner. I knew it was a reflection of me, as I didn’t look too friendly.

I got this same impression with other familiar strangers (eg. instructors at the yoga classes). Both looked at me and their facial expressions changed to frowns. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror in the class, and behold, my mouth was in a frown without my realizing it.

As a result, I practiced smiling and grinning.

I decided that my smiling was better when it was small and subtle, but the key was also to smile with the eyes. To do that, I had to think positive. I had to feel my eyes and eyebrows somehow open up and lift, and my cheeks lift as well. Think of a smiling baby and how he/she shows the internal joy. In a way, be that baby 😉

Daniel Craig Smile with the EyesAs part of my work on my smile, I took a few pictures of myself in my suit one day. The best pictures of me were with my mouth closed, my eyes smiling, and a semi-side profile. It’s like Daniel Craig, who doesn’t show his teeth when smiling. He does a calm and confident grin. Even with a big, deep smile, his mouth is closed and his eyes are smiling.

After observing a woman on the street that had a frown on her face, I decided that having issues shows and makes people unapproachable. Being internally happy and appearing content is the most attractive image and can make you appear more approachable. You can achieve this through your smile (internal and/or external).

Appearing approachable takes work and your smile cannot be faked. The best way for me to achieve a natural smile is by thinking positive thoughts, which will automatically make you smile with your eyes. A forced smile doesn’t look very good while a natural smile is awesome.

Even when I didn’t shave for a while and didn’t look my best, but I felt good on the inside and was internally smiling, I still got lots of looks from women on the street. I know it was because it was showing that I was happy and confident internally.

Hair: Frizziness

If the thing you most want to fix is the frizziness of your hair, there are numerous solutions.

A product that is applied to soaking-wet or towel-dry hair is essential for combating frizzy hair. Finishing products are great for finishing, but you have to start with an anti-frizz look before you can put on the finishing touches.

My barber applies a natural leave-in conditioner and wraps my head in a super-hot towel (cold wet towel in the summer) for 2 minutes – instant fix! I tried to do that myself, but it didn’t work too well. When I asked him what his secret is, he just smiled 😉

There are many options for reducing frizzy hair. However, the best solution for me is the leave-in Moroccan Oil, which was recommended to me by another barber. He said it is also important to change your shampoo and conditioner from time to time and really take time with the hair washing (leave the shampoo and conditioner in the hair for a few minutes). I found the advice to be very true.

There are some other solutions that I didn’t try, so please do your due diligence:

5. Citre Shine Miracle Anti-Frizz Polishing Serum

4. John Frieda Frizz-Ease Hair Serum

3. Marc Anthony Simply Straight Instant Straightening Cream

2. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum Hair Styling Serums

1. Herbal Essences None of Your Frizzness Smoothing Shampoo

Others:

Carol’s Daughter Mimosa Hair Honey

Avon Advance Techniques Anti-Frizz Capsules

Haircuts

CoolMensHair.com Haircuts and Hair StylesPart of my research involved looking at haircuts, since this is a feature that some may wish to improve. I found some great advice on haircuts for different heads in Hudson’s FTM Guide. Then I did a Google Image search for my type of face, picked the look I most liked and printed it out.

I took the photo, scheduled a hair appointment with my barber (Italian of course 😉 ) and went for the big Italian job. I loved it! It was definitely interesting, different, and sharper.

The same day as the haircut, I observed the responses I got throughout the day. I definitely got way more looks from women (yes, it’s my standard appearance test). If you polish up your look with a new haircut, you’re likely to get a positive response!

Skin

If your skin isn’t the way you want it to be, there are also solutions to fix that. By using hydrating skin-care creams and sunscreen in the summer, my skin looked amazing. When I had too much sun in a given day, I used Peter’s Island/Banana Boat After Sun Aloe Vera moisturizer/restorer to undo some of the damage.

Tahitian Noni Defy Skin Care Daily Use

Click ↑ to Enlarge

Over the years I used many brands of balancing toners, scrubbers, tonics, cleansers, shaving and aftershave creams, and hydrating toners. Most of them worked OK to improve my skin’s appearance. Last year I found the Tahitian Noni products and never looked back.

In critical situations (zits or skin redness), I BRIEFLY use a blow drier on my skin that helps bring some blood to the face and evens out the tone – I don’t do it often so please use the idea responsibly.

Eyes

I decided to consider laser eye surgery. I found out from my optometrist that the highest rate of success and the lowest rate of complications is with Bochner Eye Institute.

Preliminary tests revealed that I needed the PRK over Lasik. PRK is usually recommended to patients that have a thin cornea, which is what I have. My friends who had the eye surgery done, highly recommend it as one of the best things they’ve ever done. A close friend of mine also had PRK done is now seeing 20/15.

Teeth

Businessman with White TeethTo improve the appearance of my teeth, I got laser whitening done. It was great because there was no pain like with the gels and trays, and my teeth were a few shades whiter within an hour.

Later, I had more restorative work done to my teeth (all because of eating insane amounts of candy and ice cream when I was a kid). The new teeth looked great because they were white and straight. It was so refreshing to be able to smile naturally, because I felt comfortable with showing my teeth.

Clothes

There is no doubt that maintaining a sharp image means having nice clothes. When I dress well, I feel much better and tend to get positive attention.

My old jacket was saggy from age and didn’t fit me anymore. I knew I needed to get a new jacket.

Business Casual image with Jeans Shirt JacketWhen it comes to choosing clothing, do some research online (Google images), and then just go shopping (ideally with a female friend). Experiment with different styles or even find someone who is well-dressed and ask him to give you some suggestions.

When I did this, I found the I was very comfortable and looked good in navy relaxed jeans, a light beige striped shirt, a deep V-neck t-shirt, a black suit jacket, and a big belt buckle.

I was being viewed in a more positive way when I began dressing better. When I was on the subway one day, I had numerous women looking at me. That day I was wearing black pants, a light purple shirt, and a black wool coat. I had a light beard and looked busy and focused.

Dress the Part

You must let everyone you meet know that you know your stuff. If you are a business person, look like a business person. Dress the part. When I moved to Manhattan to do my first deal, I did not have money or employees. When I went into an office, I looked as if I had an organization. Few people knew that my organization had no employees except myself and operated out of my studio apartment in Manhattan. I dressed the part of a successful Real Estate Entrepreneur. I would march into the seller’s office, impeccably dressed in my black pin–striped suit, white shirt, and monogrammed tie looking like someone who was going to make things happen. Nobody ever questioned whether I could do it. From the very start I commanded everyone’s respect.

– Donald Trump

Dressing the part is extremely important. If you are not dressed appropriately for the job you want, you won’t get it. You won’t attract the people you want to attract, nor will you get the promotion you are aiming for.

It is important to dress the part depending on the environment you are in. When shopping for a sports car, for example, nascar-like clothing would be better than any other clothing. Business clothing would work better when shopping for a high-end sedan. You get the idea…

George Clooney Great Personal ImageThroughout my challenge, I noticed that I was being treated differently and getting more noticed by women depending on what I was wearing.

One day I dressed in a white shirt and a new grey suit. Not only was I getting looks from attractive women, but I was also being respected even more at various stores. One interesting thing I noticed is that when I was dressed well, people somehow EXPECTED me to say less. They assumed I was well educated and intelligent, which is great news if you don’t like to talk too much!

Another interesting thing I’ve found was that because classy women tend to wear wool coats in the Fall and Winter, they tend to see men who wear wool coats as more attractive to them. Thus it’s important to assimilate your style with the style of your target demographics (pardon the science talk) and you’ll be more likely to be viewed as more attractive (or fitting).

Putting Your Best Face Forward

Putting your best face forward is important in all aspects of your life, including when you use social media.

Does your avatar draw in people or does it drive them away? This is probably one of the questions you have to answer before you take the big social media plunge.

Having an effective avatar is an important way for you to present yourself or your company’s image. For example, you can’t have an avatar of you making a funny face because it would harm your company’s image. The last thing you want is to misrepresent your company and have people think you don’t take your company seriously.

Justin Timberlake Givenchy Play Intense for Men - Cool Power ImageLook professional to best represent yourself or your company. It is important to use a photograph of yourself because you will establish more trust that way.

Personalize your image. Your avatar should look like your best self. It should represent the best you, because your target audience may be put off by the fact that you haven’t made an effort. If you haven’t put in the effort, your company will come across as cheap and like you don’t care.

Keep your image clean and simple. You should have a quality image that’s not blurry. This is particularly important if you want to maintain your professional image.

Conclusion

The combination of changes to your clothing, hair, attitude, body language and more is the answer to improving your personal image and the way people view you. These improvements are important if you want to be treated professionally and with respect.

As a result of my transformation process, I was treated better and was more successful. By being aware of my problems, I was able to fix them.

I began to dress better and to cut my hair in a more fashionable way. I adjusted my posture to give me a boost of self confidence, and made numerous other changes to my physical personal appearance.

Making changes to your appearance is one sure way you’ll be the person you want to be!

Daniel Craig Driving - Cool Power Image

 

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so far.

  1. The value and benefit of having a personal image consultant.The most appropriate and suitable wardrobe for your personal or professional goals, lifestyle and personality.A stylish and versatile signature wardrobe.Which fashion styles are most flattering for your body type. Which fashion styles will enhance your persona in any environment. An impressive image through body language & posture.How to exude confidence and a new attitude.How to always look your best and make a great first impression.A visually organized presentation of your wardrobe, accessories, shoes, hair pieces and jewelry that is readily accessible.Wardrobe purchasing based on your budget. What your body language is saying about you. Proper makeup application & personalized makeup tricks for men and women.How to hide body and skin imperfections. Weight control and maintaining a great physique!Smart shopping.

  2. Now, the most important component of image is the one you make through your attire, your shoes, your hair and grooming, your posture and the overall look of confidence you project.

  3. Kara says:

    Great information! Well-groomed nails are equally important.

  4. This is not about condemning other women. We must be kind to each other and easy on ourselves as we draw our battle lines. When I say I’m having a bad hair day, I’m usually referring to my moustache and on the way to remove it, with some sort of cream that burns and smells like eggs or threading, that pulls it out in little clumps. That’s my personal limit and that’s OK.

  5. Studies investigating the impact of posture on interpersonal relationships suggest that mirror-image congruent postures, where one person’s left side is parallel to the other person’s right side, leads to favorable perception of communicators and positive speech ; a person who displays a forward lean or decreases a backward lean also signifies positive sentiment during communication.

  6. The combination of changes to your clothing, hair, attitude, body language and more is the answer to improving your personal image and the way people view you. These improvements are important if you want to be treated professionally and with respect.

  7. Drake T says:

    It’s a fact that we make our perception about stuff around us based on visuals. This is what most of the people do, therefore working on one’s appearance is among the first and most important things to do if you want to change what others think about you and the way they treat you.

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